Titanic Redux (The Fruits of Boredom)

So, I'm here to propose a brief little theory that the movie Titanic left out some key details and that old Rose was a retrograde amnesiac who could only correctly remember events leading up to Jack's "death".

As shown here is the iconic scene of Jack's supposed death.

However, Jack miraculously washes up onto the shores of Thailand, alive and seemingly aged 13 years.

After a proper amount of sunlight, Jack reacquires his youthful appearance, and goes on adventures and what not with his new friends.

Meanwhile, upset over the apparent loss of Jack, Rose hits bottom; she moves to Germany, becomes a Nazi, and hooks up with an underage German bookworm.

Jack, too, harbors feelings for Rose. He subsequently takes up aviation and flies to America in hopes of reuniting with his long-lost lover.

Rose is also back in America and now assumes wild hair colors, indicative of her troubled times in Germany. She strikes up a memory-loss-ridden relationship with Jim Carrey, but ends it for a 2nd and final time once she learns that Jack is back in town.

By fate, they reunite. Initially, Jack is furious about Rose not having allowed him any room on the floating door.

But the two eventually get over "door-gate" and finally become hitched. (Rose settles on blonde)

 

They hire a realtor (her son turns out to be Eminem's mom's boyfriend and Nelson Van Alden), who, by coincidence is the same lady from the lifeboat. After selling them a house, she is befriended by the couple, having made a connection with them as Titanic survivors.

And the Dawsons lived happily ever after. (Not really)

Save for the anachronistic subtleties, this explains the untold story of Jack and Rose Dawson, and how Kathy Bates is connected to Eminem.